The Fresh Consul of New Eden

Not content to merely parody a Christmas poem, I hunger to take Firefall and cram it into other pop culture references, with as much elegance as my lexicon allows. I do enjoy a challenge and I found one in relating one of the major characters in the Firefall story, Admiral/Consul Nostromo, with the opening theme to Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I like to consider myself a wordsmith. My profession involves precise communication, but it is not purely devoted to the task of literary excogitation (oh man, I'm dropping "teh rhymez" already). So, you could say I'm somewhere between an Apprentice and Journeyman level of wordsmithery.